The Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 9: Acrimoniously Ever After

A couple of weekends ago, I decided to finally get round to watching two of the most talked about  by my peers and arguably most advertised movies after Black Panther. Yes, Netflix was definitely making a song and dance about the one and women and men engaged in probably the biggest relationship debate of all time, so in terms of word of mouth, it did pretty well.  As a particularly non-eventful weekend, I invited my good friend Nicola over and with wine and popcorn in abundance, we decided to delve into the wormhole of frequent lamentation and even more frequent “let’s pause and let that sink in” moments, that were ultimately caused by Netflix’s Nappily Ever After and Tyler Perry’s Acrimony.

First up on the movie mini- marathon playlist was Nappily Ever After, which we watched on a Friday evening. I stress the fact that this was a Friday because, after a particularly harrowing and beyond busy week, the selection of entertainment really shouldn’t leave you with more questions than answers neither should it have any business dabbling in a weak storyline. We really needed the good stuff, the movie that would blow our minds and have us dumbfounded by bedtime, the next morning and beyond. Were we dumbfounded? No.  Basically, after having a colleague harp on about its “awesomeness” and succumbing to the volley of Youtube ads, I was finally convinced that I should watch it, and boy was I disappointed. I remember I was so confused and emo about it, that I wrote an entire thread about it on Twitter.

So for the benefit of those that haven’t watched it yet, a word to the wise- DON’T DO IT. There were a few people that had advised me of the same but because of my high propensity for FOMO, I went ahead and did it anyway. If you’re going to take my advice or you’ve watched it already, keep reading. If not, good luck! In the meantime, I will share with you a little synopsis of the storyline. So basically, Nappily Ever After is about a girl who is somewhat obsessed with her straightened hair, almost mad obsessed to the extent that any sign of rain is a real-life nightmare. One day, the worst day of her life happens and her hair gets rained on, meaning she has to now go to an unfamiliar salon because her mum and hairdresser didn’t come through. Said salon messes up her hair because the main hairdresser’s (who happens to be male) daughter (who we honestly thought was a boy for the first half of the movie) mixed up relaxer cream and hot oil treatment. At this point, we already had about 10 questions. Homegirl naturally throws her toys out because her prized possession is ruined, clumps of hair were falling out, which basically meant her world is falling apart. Fast forward, she gets a good weave and life goes on. So it’s her birthday and she’s excited because she assumes live-in bae is going to finally pop the question after 2 or so odd years of being together since she had discovered “the box” hidden (not really) in some closet. Birthday dinner happens and boom, it’s actually a tag for a cute little dog. She calls for an intervention in the bathroom, calms down for the sake of her guests and accepts Fifi or whatever the ridiculously cliche name of the dog was into her life. She then confronts bae later on at home, indicating that she thought he was going to do the proposing thing that night? Boyfriend basically tells her he’s not ready, he barely knows who she is…he harps on some nonsense that indicates he’s not ready to settle down now or in the near future. She throws him out. Fast forward, She goes out on terrible dates, has a meltdown, shaves her head, becomes ashamed of said shaved head then finds confidence to rock it. Befriends hairdresser’s daughter(yes, the one that basically burnt her hair off) sort of has a thing with said hairdresser, hair grows, quits her job, gets back together with former bae, he finally proposes, turns out former bae is still a douche, everybody jumps into the swimming pool. The end.

As nonsensical as that was, imagine watching an entire 90 minutes and seeing it unfold frame by frame. But one thing I picked up though, which was a bit disturbing and sort of transcends into real life relationships was when the boyfriend basically told her that he’s had issues with her for the last two years, like he basically didn’t know her. My bone of contention is that if she hadn’t had this meltdown, they literally would’ve continued coasting around this relationship to nowhere. I was now curious to know what the basis of the relationship was about since communication, as big as it should be in any relationship, was clearly lacking in this one. I mean, if you don’t air out what you’re uncomfortable with, or at the very least, things that you like, then what’s the point? What’s then the glue that’s supposedly holding you together if you’re not 100% happy with the status quo?

Not to dwell too much into Nappily ever after, the next day, we attempted Acrimony. This was more of what we were looking for as it had us clutching at our pearls and taking several pause and wine breaks due to its emotional rollercoaster-esque nature. Storyline aside, in true Tyler Perry fashion, there were quite a number of scenes where things were a bit over-dramaticized ie When Melinda drove her car into the caravan, those injuries surely couldn’t have robbed her of her ovaries right? But, who am I to say, I ain’t no doctor. Also her stalking was a bit much…the question I still have up until now is HOW THE HECK DID SHE GET ON THE BOAT!?!?!?!? Other than that, and I know quite a number of people may think otherwise, I thought the movie was brilliant and the hell hath no fury storyline was played pretty well albeit the overkill. It was also pretty cool to see a mini-crossover of one of the actors from the movie we had watched the night before- Lyriq Bent, who had played hairdresser guy, Will in Nappily, was now Robert, the protagonist’s husband in Acrimony. In the interest of word count and because it’s such a good movie, I would recommend you watch it for yourself if you haven’t already done so.

Now, getting into the nitty gritty and lessons/relatable scenes I could pick up from Acrimony. The obvious theme, Melinda’s patience and resilience. Despite every disappointment at every turn from Robert, Melinda stuck it out to the point of her picking her man over her family who could clearly see what it was doing to her. Robert eventually made it, despite it being after 18 or so arduous years but as it was a little too late, Melinda had since tapped out. At this point, Nikki and I did a standing ovation, we were beyond fed up on Melinda’s behalf, Robert had really outdone himself in doing the most. Oftentimes he’d even gaslight her by pointing out that she still wasn’t supporting him enough in shielding him from her family despite him having burnt through all her money. Ungrateful much? But against the odds, and honestly through the patience of high school fling, Diana, he eventually made it. This sort of reminds me of the little picture of 2 guys digging towards diamonds with the other guy giving up just before the jackpot whereas the second guy keeps digging emphatically because he believes a breakthrough is nigh. But, how long is too long to hold on? In this case, Melinda was the epitome of “standing with your man through thick and thin” and said man only got to the breakthrough soon after she had called it quits. He then eventually paid her back “everything” he owed her in monetary value but was it really enough? That then was the crux of the great debate. Personally, I think no. The money was never enough- you can never put a value on loyalty, compromise, belief and sacrifice. How do you quantify emotional investment? How do you repay someone who has supported you with their all and pretty much protected you not only from the world but from their family?  Someone who believed in you so much that everything they own went into supporting your dream. Nope, money can never be enough. I’m not sure what is, but money isn’t it.

3_feet-from-gold

Image Credit: Google

Basically that was my experience on these two movies. There are definitely a lot more issues that need to be explored further on both, which I will expand on in future posts. Let me know what you think about Nappily Ever After and Acrimony and how you felt about the addressed and non-addressed issues.

 

 

 

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The Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 8: Love Me?-The Love Stock take

The other day I was driving out to get some baking stuff. Yeah, I’m into baking now, It seems to be another passion that I somewhat recently but gleefully stumbled upon. Here I was face to face with the gate of this establishment which had note on the firmly shut gate written on it. “Sorry, we’re closed today for stock take.” I think the next line went something along the lines of “we will advise when we will re-open, for any queries, please contact (insert number).” I was highly annoyed, and for a Friday afternoon, I was thinking why the heck is there a frigging stock take today of all days, almost an entire week into the new month when surely it must have been done earlier? Having worked in retail before, I kind of figured that month-end or the first 2 or so days into the month is when this normally took place. Until I realised that ours is but a very special country whose economic policies make consumers and businesses alike skittish leading to a  “stocktake” of sorts to use as a scapegoat to probably upwardly adjust their prices (honestly through no fault of their own) to cushion themselves from the negative repercussions said policies might cause. But I’m not an economics blogger, neither am I about to bog you down with some depressing narrative on how our economy seems to be going down the drain. One thing that did catch my attention though, is the actual term “Stock take.” I mean, if I were to give them the benefit of the doubt, the company was probably actually taking into account the stock they have and ascertaining the actual value they hold. This got me thinking…not in isolation of course, but it definitely set my little mind cogwheels in action. It got me asking myself the question if people in relationships actually press the pause button, or slow down the ride to take into account what the relationship is developing into, if promises made at the very beginning are being kept and if as partners you’re just good ‘ol loving each other right.
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The Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 7: Love in Kilometres

During my first year in college I managed to get my hands on the then fairly new Brandy album, Human. At that time the album had been out for about a couple of years and the R n B songs were very new to my normally pop-music acclimatised ears. Because I had the full album, I obviously had to play it non-stop from beginning to end during any free time I’d get to appreciate it in its entirety and to also be able to pick out my favourite songs which would then be on repeat. I use the word “obviously” a bit loosely here because I would imagine that’s how people listen to a “new” album right…? Maybe….? No? Ok, well, when I listened to it, whenever it looped back to track 6, I would clutch at my little heart and intently listen to a heart-stricken Brandy explaining to bae that “this long distance thing” is tearing her apart. From there it would then obviously move into Long Distance, probably the number one song that made me and a whole bunch of my friends want sing it to a non-existent boyfriend working in another city. Bottom line is, it really got to me, and even more now than ever.
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The Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 6: Ramblings of an Adulting Adult

Guess who finally got round to actually writing a blog post? Yes, me. It’s been a long time coming, having to endure somewhat sub-zero temperatures indoors, arctic temperatures outdoors, making several trashed voice recordings and finally (trust me, I’m saying this with a heck of a lot of exasperation) FINALLY managing to drum fingers on keyboard to write something that actually had nothing to do with said voice recordings, see my life, lol! But, this one is a good one though, well, at least I’d like to think it is….actually, it better be because well…it’s been a long time coming and it must be worth it…surely…maybe…? Ok, I’ll let you get to it.

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The Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 5: Is it cheating if…?

Yesterday afternoon I had the most emotional, gut wrenching and pretty much the most befuddling experience I have ever had thus far this year. Yes, my emotions were sent into overdrive and I became more and more aware of the extent at which people can be twisted, manipulative and on the flipside, ridiculously gullible to things that may seem too obvious to some. My heart and mind were in turmoil, I was restless and queasy for a good hour or so after the incredible revelation. All this happened as I was reading this incredible blog by one of my newly favourite writers Joseyphina. Basically, this series she wrote called Marry Me, was the reason why I was low key having palpitations because (hopefully without pre-empting too much, eek) the main character guy LITERALLY walked into the trap of this other girl and PROPOSED to her with…wait for it, his ACTUAL fiancé’s ring!!! It was just too much to handle. I swear for a good ten minutes I was that distressed Mr Crabs meme where the whole world was spinning into oblivion. What prompted me to write about cheating was the fact that the very same main character dude, pretty much hid his “friendship” with this girl from his fiancé for the longest while fully knowing new fiancée’s ulterior motives and also while flipping out and disapproving of his girlfriend’s platonic friend from work (who happens to like her as well, but that’s beside the point as she didn’t hide that association). THE NERVE! Ok, I’m getting into the feels again *deep breath in* But after having read the latest installment, it got me asking the question, what defines cheating and its parameters?
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The Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 4: Lost In Translation

By now you must already know that I’m a lover of love. A hopeless romantic, the kind of girl who if there were vacancies to be Venus’ assistant, I would be the first one to send through an application…wherever they’d be sent! Heck, I would volunteer to be Cupid’s quiver holder and be in charge of procuring the little bursting hearts. I’m that into love. Over the years though I’ve learnt that love isn’t a meaningless word that should be thrown around willy-nilly without meaning it, neither is “Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more” the answer to “What is love?” Love is and isn’t many things depending on your view and personal experiences. Like a fluid, it takes the shape of what one believes its form and size should be. To me, it is an entire culture, a somewhat mystical and intricate force that still has people trying to decode what it means, how it works, why some do the things they do when they claim to love a person and what they don’t do when they should.  As with anything cultural, language plays a huge role. Put Love and Languages in the same sentence and boom! You have the 5 love languages, a concept borne by counsellor Dr Gary Chapman. I have been meaning to write about this for a while now, and I’m glad I’ve finally come round to actually doing it.
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Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 3- When the wallet says “No,”but love is still open for business

Now that Valentine’s is finally out of the way, I can freely and without a bad conscience offer my take on presenting presents to your loved ones without blowing the bank. My view is that as with Valentine’s, presents aren’t and shouldn’t be a yardstick to gauge your person’s love by, while at the same time, also shouldn’t be withheld because “love is all you need.” Nope, it really isn’t sometimes a physical manifestation of the love you have for your person is very much necessary regardless of your Love Language (dang, I really should get to writing about this now), but yes, let’s spoil our people. Having said that, it really shouldn’t put you out budget-wise.

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The Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 2: For the Hate of Valentines’

A couple of days ago, I was walking past a number of shops in town and not surprisingly, the general feel and colour of pretty much every window display was red and pink and a nauseating amount of little hearts and little fat babies with wings. “Ugh,” I gagged, it’s that time of the year again where every little thing is corrupted and turned into a mini minion of this day, even the most random of items are put on *insert evil mocking voice and accompanying hand air quotes “Valentines’ Special.” I’ve never been a Valentines’ day person. Shocking, I know but that’s exactly how it is. Some have attributed it to the fact that probably 90% of the Valentine’s days I’ve had I’ve been rock bottom single. Note, there are several levels to this singleness…there is single but maybe a prospective lingering in the woodwork, a potential bae of sorts flirting with the friendzone/bae border. On the other side of the spectrum is rock bottom singleness, where the space and time difference between the last relationship is pretty much like being plonked in the middle of the desert with endless dunes, no oasis in sight with the blistering sun beating your lonely single back-That level of singleness. Even the couple of times I have been in a relationship over Valentines it has just been an “I can’t be bothered” type of thing and fortunately or unfortunately the partners I’ve had at the time have also been equally unfazed by the same.  Before I explain why I border on abhorring Valentine’s I’ll start by into the origins of the day, nothing quite like a quick “History lesson” right?
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The Bedsit Banter Series Season 2 Part 1- The Year of the Bae

2018. When it’s business as usual but not quite business as usual. The life you’ve known has shifted from where it was and all of a sudden you wake up with a smile on your face, you radiate a glow as you see a life that is brighter, more beautiful. A dash of light becomes a scintillating sparkle as what appeared to be a mere wish, a mere twinkle in the sky, a little glimmer of hope, has turned into something ravaging, brilliant and bright and you’re not the same person as you were a year ago, no, not even a month ago. The new year has brought in a paradigm shift, a new hope and in the spirit of the probably the most official phrase of 2017, a new dispensation in the romantic realm. 2018 unlike 2017 becomes the year of the bae. Love is a beautiful thing especially when you least expect it to come up. And from the looks of things 2017 was not a good year for it. Almost as if Sir Cupid went on a sabbatical of sorts and just didn’t bother coming back. So much drama and crazy expectations with the general consensus being that 2018 will be better. Yes, I am going to be that person, the positive happy-go-lucky person who will also be hopeful that cupid will come out of his slumber or earlier mentioned sabbatical and make magic for people who have been waiting for the longest to get out of the single zone or unfulfilling relationship. Yes, I believe in 2018 people will be loved the way they deserve and all the negative energy from the previous year will be over-ridden. Not that I’m a relationship expert of sorts but here’s my take on a couple of aspects that are important in the beginning of a new relationship.
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The Bedsit Banter Series Part 12: Wait, are you still single shaming me?..but then again, maybe it’s about time…?

So it’s finally year end and although a number of love lives have taken off, the surprisingly many hopeful and “unfortunate” ones were still clinging on to the meme “may the last x months of the year be the plot twist you’ve been waiting for,” waiting for some romantic miracle. Well the year’s almost done and while some may have experienced a plot twist of new found love(kudos to you!) the rest  (fortunately or unfortunately depending on whether or not you’re a glass half full or half empty remain in the cold, yet relatively crowded terraces of the love arena.
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